Dante’s Inferno Draped in Burgundy

As a blatantly happy commuter, I enjoy arriving on campus whenever I need and then promptly leaving it as well. But, what happens when a freak accident occurs? What can we do? Although we always can sleep in cars, college students as a whole usually pride ourselves in keeping that sacred for lovers trysts and drunken slumbers. (Not on campus, of course. Both are strictly forbidden.)

For example, several years ago there was a ice storm that smothered Waleska. When I say ice storm, I mean that Reinhardt College Parkway was inches thick in clear death that would push your car into trees or our Dollar General. Mind you, this was Pre-The Front Porch and Pre-Subway. As a lowly commuter, I was forced to reconcile with a friend and live in their apartment for a week. And by a week, I mean two or three days. (Not that it matters, most of us are only conscious 2 or 3 days out of the week anyways.) I was stuck on campus, in the fun, but glorious hungry week of class-less days and professor-less lives. It was glorious.

However, because of recent tornadoes, I was yet again stranded on the Reinhardt campus. After several hours of futile hunger, honestly categorized within my first world problems part of the brain, I walked into the dining hall of despair. To be frank, it is the least appealing food I have ever eaten, but the joy stops there. I despise our dining hall. On three different holiday dinners, I got food poisoning. Each year there was a different food supplier. I do not like our food, but, it’s not their fault. It’s the cheap quality that all diners and cafeterias use throughout the country…but that doesn’t mean it sits well with me.

As I walked into the inferno, the only thing that I recognized was the drapes. Those burgundy drapes framed the social experiment that housed inside. Every table was segregated by sport, race, ethnicity, or job description, without any double dipping.  Can I ask: When did Reinhardt become so stereotypical? What caused this mass separation of the student body?

I think it’s fair to say that more was brought to this school than football stats this year. There are a lot of concepts and morals that freshly conquered our small fish tank of a campus.  Obviously, there are going to be some serious changes happening at Reinhardt. I just hope that the drapes stay the same.

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“Come Here Charlie Brown, Come kick this Football!”

Courtesy From Ask.com

Courtesy From Ask.com

We all know this reference from the 90’s childhood favorite Charlie Brown. Each time he went to kick the football from Lucy, she would pull the football out from in front of him. In consequence, Charlie Brown would tumble and fall on his face as Lucy laughed and pointed.

I’m not saying that RU is Lucy. But let’s be real, Reinhardt is definitely that unnamed character behind her laughing riotously at our expense. I choose to cast Lucy as certain people or departments at Reinhardt. Maybe you haven’t paid for that parking ticket – Public Safety is Lucy. Or, possibly you just got back your graduation audit – the Registrar’s office is Lucy. Every senior at this school has a Lucy, and every Lucy at this school has been a college senior. Am I saying this is payback? Maybe, so what if it is? With that being said, every school of higher education acts like this. Just because we’re at a privately funded Methodist school, that doesn’t make us different…does it?

As a soon-to-be college graduate from Reinhardt, I can say with honesty that really do love this school. I have learned a lot in my program of study. But, in the corner of my eye there she is. She’s holding a football in one hand and my diploma in the other. As I run to kick the ball, I ask myself, when do I graduate again?

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